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In my work with clients lately, I’m noticing a theme.  And I’m quite certain that this theme runs much deeper than just a few of my clients, because I get stuck in the same sucky limiting belief:

It’s not safe to shine.

(And there are many other versions of this: Women who shine are selfish, bitchy, too much, etc.)

As women, we’re often taught to worry about everyone else first, to set aside our own needs in order to keep the peace, to dumb ourselves down so we don’t intimidate, attract too much attention, or make someone else feel bad.

It affects our businesses, too.  Who are we to be the boss, to fight for our place in the world, to have a business that supports us along the way?    

I’m so ready to have a different experience of life!  The truth of the matter is this (and believe me, I’m preaching to the choir here):

Shining bright doesn’t hurt you or anyone else.  Period.  It may be that some people aren’t ready to mirror that brightness in themselves, but that’s none of your business.

One of my mentors taught me this quote:

“What other people think of me is none of my business.” – Byron Katie

Y.E.S.

And isn’t this often what holds us back from being our most amazing, brightest self?  Our worry about the world around us?

If I speak up, will he think I’m being pushy?

If I take that nap I need, they’ll think I’m lazy.

If I confront my employee, she won’t like her job anymore, and she’ll leave.

The list could go on and on… and it could include 1,000’s of different ways we talk ourselves out of the fulfillment of our desires, of showing up as big and bright as we want to be.  

But the fact is, there’s no right or wrong way to live our lives.  That’s part of the beauty of it – that we get to do it on our own terms.  We get to have the experience we choose to have.

So I’m choosing to start letting desire lead my life.  I’m going to remind myself to ask:

Is there anything I’m wanting right now?

And then I’m going to take action and allow it in – all of the magic and connection and freedom I crave.  And from this place of desire fulfilled, I’m going to shine.  And I’m going to remember that how others react is none of my business. 🙂

As I shine brighter, I believe it’s most likely to go something like this:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson

I hope you’ll join me in showing up as a child of God, as your brightest self, liberating those around you.  And I’d love to see you do it!

Tag #thebusinessoflife or @hannahpasquinzo on Instagram.  Or post on my Facebook wall – I would love to get conversations going over there!  

Want to work on this more in a more focused way?  Need some one-on-one time right now?  I love it when women show up for themselves, get some support, and take big strides toward living the life they know they’re meant to live.  And I’d love to help.  If you feel called to this work in the slightest, please don’t be afraid to set up a free Discovery Session.  We can chat for a few minutes and see if we’d make a great team (my hunch is that if you’ve read this far, we’d be a perfect fit!).

Now remember: The world needs you – your bright, beautiful self.

Much love,

6 Comments
  1. Julie Marah says:

    Great post and very timely for me right now – it’s definitely time to shine! Thank you.

  2. Christie says:

    Hannah, your post reminded me of the Sunday school song: This Little Light of Mine… I’m gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine! … Who are we to dim our light? Great post!

  3. Inge says:

    Oh my freaking goodness, Hannah. You nailed it. N-A-I-L-E-D it.

    Ever since I’ve made this decision in March (to show up in a fuller way, to SHINE), I’m fully grasping what it means to shine. I’m finally sharing, I’m finally really showing up. It feels amazing, but also oh-so-scary. New resistance is coming up. New ways in which it doesn’t feel safe to shine are coming up. Yet, I’m committing to continuing this path.

    Thanks for putting the words on it so perfectly succinctly and exactly. Amazing work!

  4. Brian says:

    This is great advice that applies to absolutely everyone. Stop worrying about how others perceive you and worry strongly about how you perceive yourself.

  5. Rose says:

    Last Wednesday my dad took Sophie to dance. I said when you go in, If Mrs. Hannah’s there, she will smile at you and you will know it’s her. Your smile and presence does shine through you. You couldn’t hide it if you tried. You radiate it. SHINE ONE!!!

    1. Hannah says:

      Rose, you’re too kind. Thank you!!!

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